“What are you calling the Long Player of the Week article?”
“Music Is The Brandy Of The Damned.”
“The Damned have a new album out?
”No. It’s a partial quote by George Bernard Shaw. You see this album by Terry Malts, it’s an avalanche of fantastic tunes, you know they’re really beautiful but the subject matter is kind of …well it’s “the sugar-coated pill is getting bitterer still” but that’s kind of cliché-ridden so I thought let’s try something like this…Imagine you have a fruit, say it’s a pear but in this world it’s called “The Undertones”. Now, you peel The Undertones and you poach it in honey and brandy syrup. The syrup is called “Mersey Beat”. You serve it in a deep dish, pour the syrup over and grate a little bit of raw ginger and chilli on top (that’s called “The Ramones”). So that’s it, our album of the week is The Undertones poached in Mersey Beat with The Ramones grated on top, it’s called “Lost At The Party” and its fucking delicious. “
I see…and that has what to do with The Damned?
“Er…nothing, just it’s the only quote I could find that mentioned brandy…”
Isn’t this better, and more appropriate, for this record? – ”Charity liked brandy. She liked the way it burned her throat while soothing the ache in her heart.”
“OK then, get out.”