In 2005 the Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, insulted Finnish cuisine and joked that Finns ate “marinated reindeer”. In 2008, Finland won an international pizza contest, beating Italy. The name of the winning pizza was “Pizza Berlusconi”and it was made of Berlusconi’s flaccid penis smoked reindeer.
Finland is a future-obsessed nation. It was the first country in the world to offer a master’s degree in futures studies – you start in 2016 and graduate in 1732 (that makes no sense – ed.) It does if your PHD is in time travel.
Finland has a 20-year plan for its country brand. The 365-page government report includes plans to become a silicon valley of social innovations and a land where the lakes are drinkable (I thought Finns drank enough already ?)
There are 2 million saunas in Finland, it’s normal for families, acquaintances and even business associates there to sauna nude together. The Irish Catholic Church are sending a delegation as we speak.
Helsinki has a four-times-a-year event called Restaurant Day. The occasion offers anyone the opportunity to set up a restaurant, café, or bar, for just one day, without having to apply for official permits – as long as alcohol is not on the drinks list. WAIT, what – who would go?
A war cry used by the Finnish Army during WW2 was “Tulta munille!” which roughly translates to “Fire at their balls!” Russian football matches were immediately thrown into chaos. Oh, those kind of balls.
“Wife Carrying” championships are held every year in Finland. The prize depends on the wife’s weight in beer. I don’t really know what else to say about that.
The Sami people of Northern Finland have a unit of measurement called the ‘poronkusema‘ – the distance a reindeer can walk before needing to urinate. In a similar way, the people of Munster, in Ireland, have a unit of measurement called the ‘corkconian’- the distance a drunk Cork person can walk before they piss themselves. IT’S NOT FAR.
Finnish women were the first in Europe to get the vote, and one of their initial acts was to pass temperance laws keeping booze away from their menfolk. This is possibly revenge for the wife-carrying contests mentioned above.
That’s enough Finnish facts
Check out these cracking Finnish tracks
Throw off your filthy macs
And shake your booty in your slacks
*Thanks to “Crazy Facts” for the links and the actual facts above (there are some).
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